Hello and welcome to Carole’s List Of Things She is No Longer Saying Sorry For.
This is not a complete list, amendments can and will be made as fucks decrease.
- Parenting. I love my kids so bloody much and I’m a fabulous mother. I am not a perfect mother but I am damn good at the mothering I do do (haha doodoo) and I will continue to try and be the best possible parent I can be and meet their needs.
- Being a feminist. Women have always received the shorter end of the stick. Women of colour way more so. This is not something that we are even close to sorting out and until then I will push my feminist agenda and challenge you and pretty much tell you you’re wrong if you think that things are better than really shitty for us.
- Not being a good enough feminist. Because I’m still learning, and I will use the wrong language and I’m happy – eager, even – to learn the appropriate terms, approaches and understandings that are rooted in feminism. I’m an enthusiastic and constant pupil.
- Not really loving doing lots of outside things. I love bush walking with my family, and I love going swimming at beaches, lakes and rivers. Hell, we’re even whittling away at putting together a camping kit but actually, I don’t want to do outdoors type things all the time. Even sometimes now I do them because I realise it’s a fantastic thing to model to my children. Yes I realise this is contradictory to this list and my point but I don’t give a fuck. I love Netflix and my couch. Which brings me to;
- My love of terribly fabulous television. I try really hard to get into the Netflix docos that everyone loves. I have watched a few and really enjoyed them but at the end of the day, I’m likely to always choose the Kardashians. They’re a goddamn well oiled publicity and business machine and pass me the whittikars, let’s do this.
- Eating food that isn’t always great for me. I love chocolate. It’s bloody terrible for me and can get out of control but I adore it. I also love meat and dairy and although I try to source these thing’s as ethically as possible, it won’t stop me eating them if they’re not always so. I am trying to manage my portion sizes and sugar intake as both of these can get way beyond my control when I’m stressed, which ends in me feeling like shit. I prefer a whole food, low meat, dairy and sugar diet and will adhere to this as much as possible but won’t cut them out completely because M&M’s go well with a Marian Keyes novel. But also;
- For wanting to lose weight. I am on WW (formerly Weight Watchers) at the moment and I really like using this system. I don’t feel confident about my body at this size and there is a history of heart disease in my family. I want to drop some of the extra weight I’m carrying to feel happy and healthy.
- For not loving exercise. I just don’t. I do it, because it’s bloody good for me and really important (see above), but I don’t like it. I want to model exercising to my children because I feel like it’s super important for them to see this as a regular, routine part of our lives (see number 4 for fucks given about contradictions). I do quite like yoga and a good brisk walk, particularly with company, but I draw the line at that. Don’t even get me started on team sports.
- For not knowing as much stuff about our country and the world as I really fucking should. I don’t read the news. I do read instagram. I should probably follow the news ON instagram to learn about the things I need to but it’s really not as interesting as celebrities. I will likely work on this one a bit more when I have children that need less of my brain power, so never.
- For caring about what I look like. Clothes are important to me, nothing gets my blood pumping like a good shop. This can be online, in a mall, at an op shop or at some faffy boutique. I love figuring out my style and changing things up as I feel like it. I watch red carpet events for the clothes (and the celebrities, see number 9) and I will fill up Pinterest boards with a ton of ideas about how I would like my closet to look. Fave pastime.
- For not caring about how I look. Sometimes I don’t care, and neither should you. Bra’s are the work of the devil.
- For my healing journey. A bit deeper here, folks, but super important. I am a work in progress. I am struggling with my identity and where I fit into this world. I am coming out of 20 years of using substances of some sort to unwind and 25 years of relationships that I constantly put others first in. I am finding my voice and trying to work out what the hell I do next. I will be hard work and I’m completely ok with you stepping back if it’s too much. But it’s necessary so I will head down, plow forward and just hope that I don’t fuck up too much. Or that if I do fuck up, I do it spectacularly, with musical numbers.
K, that’s it for now. Love you guys, thanks for reading.